Relaxed Relatives

Hi Abbie!

Happy 2010! I enjoyed your post and especially loved the idea of the Muslim practice of tahneek, where a respected family member gives a baby the taste of a sweet date in the hopes of imparting some of their own admirable character traits. I also long for some interesting and meaningful ways of marking my son's eating milestones with my family. Actually, it would be disingenuous for me to pretend that his eating habits weren't a key part of my family's holiday entertainment! He was like a little prince sitting in his daddy's arms at meal time with everyone watching him gobble up mouthful after mouthful of squash, peas, potatoes, pears. He's a great eater, but I have to admit that my overflowing pride was tempered with a dash of annoyance at the endless suggestions and advice.

After five months of parenthood, I expected the onslaught; what took me by surprise was its direction. I had already steeled myself against what I thought would be disapproval over his very early introduction to a wide variety of solid foods (a list that still doesn't include the "traditional" cereal). What I got instead was relentless pressure to introduce MORE - things like my grandmother's "mallow-topped sweet potatoes" (6lbs potatoes, 6 cups sugar!! literally!) or the walnut-cranberry sauce ("for some great faces!"). I went to fill my water glass and returned to find my lactose-intolerant son happily eating Bavarian Cream Doughnut off of his uncle's (probably unwashed) fingers!

How ironic - I, who have been trumpeting the merits of the permissiveness of certain other cultures, who have been poo-pooing the tentativeness with which we Americans approach the feeding of our babies, I found myself playing the role of the over-protective mother, denying the party-trick food requests ("can I feed him this bacon?"), snatching my son out of his uncle's sticky, doughnut hands... It makes me laugh now thinking about it - oh, what a lesson. My point is: my family on the whole was much more relaxed when it came to the feeding of a baby than I expected them to be.

Of course, not all family members are created equally in this situation. Obviously, a childless uncle makes less of an impression than a mother of four, grandmother of eight, and great-grandmother of three and counting. But, it got me thinking. Maybe this obsessive, ultra-careful feeding-of-American-babies stuff is less pervasive than it would seem from my over-educated, literature-saturated mommy groups (clearly true). Alternately, it could be a real but very new phenomenon resulting from the mountains of information available to the typical, modern American parent due to better access to health care, online resources, numerous tomes written on the topic, etc. Obviously, there are lots of pros to knowing more. I am comfortable with my decision to hold off on the walnut cranberry sauce because of all I have read about early nut introduction (though I still find this a confusing issue!). However, I'm also fine with my son's latest new food addition (chicken!), which he started just shy of his six-month mark. My family's laid-back attitude helped remind me to keep relaxed and just follow my instincts and my son's cues. He's surviving, and thriving, so far!

Hugs to your little guy! What have been some of his favorites lately?
Marjorie

PS You asked me if I came back with any new family baby food recipes or ideas. The answer is not really. I think the next trip home will probably uncover some new things, but with solid food still relatively new, we're still pretty much sticking to steamed, pureed foods on their own. One exception: chicken, which I bake, cool, and puree with some water, seems to be too dry on its own, so I mix in something else like prunes (this is actually really delicious!). I'm unwilling to add too much water to the puree, because my little beanpole needs the calories. I'm also unwilling to use his formula instead, because I think it tastes gross. In general, I like the idea of not mixing things up too much, so my son can taste the individual flavors. But, as with all of my "big ideas," this concept has gotten much more relaxed :)